update

life is good.

pics of the new house to come when I finish painting and moving in!

We cannot serve two masters. We CANNOT.

We cannot say that we are christians and love God with all our heart and also love the world. We must hate one and love the other.

Do you think that God sent his only son to die for us and suffer so that we can merely declare with our lips that we are christian and still turn away from him with our hearts.

We cannot be sucked into the world and what it wants us to believe is important.

Life is not about growing up, going to school, getting a job raising and family with a white picket fence. Its about Loving God and bringing Glory to God and nothing else.

It is about carrying our cross and following the one who IS and WAS and Always will be.

ARE YOU LUKEWARM??

1) Lukewarm people attend church fairly regularly either because it’s expected of them or because they like the people there. It’s what “good Christians” do.

2) Lukewarm people give money and time to the church as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it’s easy and safe to give, they do so.

3) Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right in conflict. They want to fit in both inside the church and outside of it. They care more about what people think of their actions than what God thinks of their heart.

4) Lukewarm people don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want to be saved from the penalty for their sin. They don’t genuinely hate sin and are not truly sorry for it; they’re merely sorry because God is going to punish them.

5) Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. They assume such action is for “extreme” Christians, not average ones. These people call “radical” what Jesus expected of all of his followers.

6) People rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. They do not want to be rejected, nor do they want to make people uncomfortable by talking about private issues like religion.

7) Lukewarm people love God, but they don’t love him with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. They would be quick to assure you that they try to love God that much but that sort of devotion is only for pastors and missionaries and radicals.

8 ) Lukewarm people want pastors that will point out to them their gifts, but not pastors who will point out to them their sin.

9) Lukewarm people are continually concerned with safety and comfort. This focus on safe living keeps them from sacrificing and risking for God.

Revelation 3:15-16 ‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. 16 ‘So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

he goes on to say: I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. 19 ‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.20 ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. 21 ‘He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. 22 ‘He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’”

I hope that you are convicted by these things as I was. I am lukewarm and I do not want to be. Therefore Papa I ask that you make me like the Gold. Refine me so that I may become rich. Clothe me in white. Turn my soul away from its selfish desire and set it solely on you My God. For you are all that I need, all that I desire and I want to love you with all my HEART all my MIND and all my STRENGTH.

Let me hear your voice and open the door! Let me wash your feet with my hair and tears. Please lord let me sit with you. Open my ears so that I may hear and KNOW that you are God.

Amen.

swell season

Dear M and D

I wish you cared.

idleness

I have grown tired of my idleness.Jesus did not ask for a piece of myself but for the whole thing!I was not chosen to merely blend in and live in what is comfortable.what was I thinking when I prayed for a heart like his?? What was I expecting?Now Im sitting here with an anxious heart with no idea what is going on inside me. Why should I be surprised then when this life I now live is leaving me yearning for something else.The day I let him into my soul, he planted something in me that has been growing and has now ran out of room in the life i now lead.After all "faith without deeds is dead"
I ready lord. Im ready to stop talking for a minute and listen to what you want from me. Im ready to start believing in you. Which is the hardest part isn't it?Because to believe in you, is to disbelieve myself.

BB

I love watching you grow.

Each day i swear I can't love you anymore, yet every day my heart seems stretched to a new capacity.

You make me want to try harder.

To be a better person.

To do things right for once.

To change

Papa,

please don't let me mess this up.

love,

chels

Continuation

Once again I am feeling less than grand.

I feel so much disappointment in myself for what seems no real reason at all.

I should be happy for many things, my daughter is exceeding any expectations I had had for her in the whole potty training process and Jake and I have seemed to "recharge" our relationship. (which I would like to add has been AMAZING)

However... I am still stuck in the hole of just "yuck"

I could blame it on... well lets not go there...

but I still think its more than just that.

I do still feel like I am being attacked spiritually because of the events of late, which makes me wonder... What am i so close to doing that would make "the evil one" come after me so strongly?

Am I close to accomplishing great things.. being used for great things?

Lets hope so.

But to be honest I just want to be DONE with this crap.

Today I found myself so near to just breaking down at work in my complete frustration.

I HATE MY JOB.

There I said it.-------> SHHH don't tell my dad.

Its not that I don't have a good job. Some people might call me a fool because I have it so good.

My schedule is flexible. I work two days a week and have great insurance. Not to mention the many fusbal games I get to partake in.

But what people don't understand is I am a person of ambition.

I enjoy taking pride in what I do and to be honest I do not take pride in answering phones and cleaning up after my fellow employees. I want to feel like I REALLY matter to the company, like my opinion matters, like my ability matters..

The truth is, if I decided not to come in to work anymore not much would happen. Sure the office would not look as presentable as before and would require more from the others, but the auto attendant could be set back up and the show would go on.

I want a job where I am NEEDED.

I don't like feeling like my Dad is doing me a favor, I don't like feeling like I owe him something I cannot repay.

I don't like the fact that I don't even have a promotion to look forward to or to work towards. I am not taking classes, there is no hope of gaining a better, more important role in the company.

and that feels terrible to me.

I do not like the easy way out. I do not like easy money.. I like knowing that I earned every penny!

and I don't feel that way.

But I cannot leave because my family needs the insurance.

Because I need the flexible schedule.

So I am stuck feeling like a worthless pile a dung.

Papa, could you do me a favor.. and fix this somehow? I would appreciate it.

thanks

love,

Chelsea