But I have to get it off my chest so I can breathe a little easier.
It's not fair that your bullshit is having a physical effect on me.
My stomach is twisted in knots even though I feel almost emotionless at times.
I can't say I didn't see it coming, but I guess I thought maybe someday you would practice what you preached.
The best part of it all is that you think I have no idea. You walk around have dead, lost in space, using my time as a distraction from your crumbling state of being.. shrugging it off as "business stress".
Do you not think I know you better than that. It hurts
You never bothered to keep your anger and frustration hidden growing up, so why such the front now? Is it the new image you have worked on attaining over the years too much for you to risk losing?
I knew the way I see you would change over time, but I guess I always thought it would be better as I matured and got closer to "your level of thinking" if you will. However it's been almost the complete opposite. I feel like a child being told the truth about Santa for the first time, as if Im mourning your death or something.
so tell me please, how much longer will we all pretend that everything isn't falling apart? When can we be real with each other? I can't watch her hurt like this anymore. Your cruel waiting game of sharp words and mixed signals have taken their toll. Maybe I am a fool for thinking you could be more of a man than you are the majority of the time.
Things don't have to be the way they are, but you have to be willing to do something about it, instead of waiting for things to change themselves.
This is where things must stop. for me anyways. I don't want to be trapped in the sin of my generations any longer.
ALSO,despite how it might seem....I do still love you.
