Tuesday, December 30, 2008

: (

0 acts of love

Monday, December 29, 2008



Sunday, December 21, 2008




p.s.   I made that hat : D

Friday, December 19, 2008


I just want to stop fighting.

p.s. you're driving me CRAZY sometimes I just like to be left alone

Thursday, December 18, 2008


I think I accidently found out what Jake got for me this year... : /
my apartment still isn't unpacked and my head is killing meeeeeeeee

on a brighter note, Maddi has discovered that she can make different noises and it is probably the cutest thing I have ever heard.  people are so right when they say it goes by fast... watching her grow up is bitter sweet.   Im so afraid for her to be a teenager.  Don't want her to hate me.... 

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Big Hands I know you're the one


Things have been good and bad lately

- im poor
- I never get enough sleep
- My stomach hurts all the time
- Jake is always busy
- I might have celiac disease
- I might never get to eat mellow mushroom ever again
- Christmas is coming

- Maddi learned how to roll over
- Christmas is coming
- Diesel is finally a good dog
- Jake is taking me to Nashville for my birthday (for sure)
- I've almost finished knitting Jakes hat and its awesome

I have a video of Maddi I will be posting soon...

Friday, November 28, 2008

I love when music reminds you of some other moment in your life.
or when it makes you want to just sit back.... and breathe deep.

This song does both for me: Passion Play- William Fitzsimmons

Saturday, November 22, 2008


for hanging out with me yesterday :)

Maddi just crapped in my hand...

Sunday, November 16, 2008


this is a video of maddi flirting with her favorite toy


Once again its been forever since I've written on here. Life is good.

I move into my new apartment next week and I am really excited.  Maddi will finally have a nursery and i can't wait to decorate it.  Jake also got some awesome paint for free from the condo's hes been painting downtown. I can't wait to get out of this cramped apartment, with torn out floor (thanks to diesel)... to finally have walk in closets, a laundry room, hardwood and carpet floors and a bedroom big enough for all our stuff!

Maddi is getting big so fast its scary and I feel like my life is speeding by.  I just want to take every cute smile and coo and stick it in a jar or something, because someday Im really going to miss them.

So im sitting here at my kitchen table waiting for my milk to come in because I forgot to pump for work tomorrow... and on top of it, my pump isn't working so i have to Manually milk myself like a freakin cow.  I feel like a dweeb, but i have to get it out somehow!  The things you do for your children...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Back to work

Well Im finally back to work. I don't really know why I'm saying finally, the days have flown by since Maddison was born.

I am really bummed because she smiles now and coo's but my dad lost my camera charger and so I feel like Im running out of time to capture these moments. She's already so much bigger than when she was born and it makes me sad that I can hardly remember what it was like to hold her when she was that small.

Being a mom is great, but SOOO much harder than I thought it would be. Though I like who its making me become. I am much more selfless than I ever was in my life, and not necessarily because I have to, but because I want to be that way. I want to give myself to my family and it feels great. (now at least, im sure one day I will feel unappreciated )

Okay... So Maddi was really small when she was born just a little over 6 pounds.. she was so tiny!! Well now she's two months and 11 pounds. Shes also pretty tall I can't remember it right now but I know she is in the 95th percentile for her age. ANYWHO... People keep telling me how big she is.. I know I shouldn't take it personal but I totally do for some reason. Yeah so shes got lots of rolls and her arms kinda look like popeye, but shes a baby! There are supposed to be chubby. I just feel like everyone thinks i over feed her or something.

Oh well what can I do.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

whats been up?

I have no real good excuse for not posting anything lately except for the fact that I am lazy and have let my nails grow so long that it makes it hard to type...

However today I feel like sharing my thoughts, though they probably aren't that interesting.
I can't even describe the way I feel lately... everything is so surreal.  I am technically a mom, and though I take care of Maddy like a Mom should... I still don't FEEL like a mom.  I suppose I just haven't gotten used to the word yet.  I probably won't until its repeated daily in attempts of getting my attention, or when I stick my first mothers day fingerpaint/macaroni card on the fridge.  Im still afraid of being a mom.  I feel so much pressure.  I don't want to screw my children up and I NEVER want to drive a mini van.  I guess its just hard for me to imagine doing all the things my mother does/did for me.  I don't want to have to worry about cleaning up, making dinner, going to parent teacher meetings, cleaning up puke, wiping poopy butts, changing peed on sheets in the middle of the night... However I never wanted to push a person out of my vagina or wake up every two- three hours either, but I do it.. and I somehow its okay.  I guess love changes you.  Love must be what powers mom's to do the things they never thought they could see themselves doing. 

Another reason being a mom terrifies me is because having a child.. is like having your heart out in the open running around.  I find my self so worrisome over her, afraid of how I will deal with these fears as she grows up and I can't completely protect her.
Thats the bad part about loving someone, not just your children.  I think I knew I truly loved Jake with all my heart when i thought about him being gone.  The thought of something happening to him filled me with such a sense of fear and dread that I had to pray right away that nothing would happen and that God would calm me down inside.  I remember me or my friends saying things like.. "I don't know what I would do without him." or whatever, when referring to Bf's but this is totally different than that.  This is genuinely not knowing what you would possibly do without this person.. being able to cry right then and there at the mere thought.

Having a little sister has already given me a glimpse of how my heart is going to ache with worry and fear when my daughter is a teen...
She has told me about things she is doing that scare me.  They scare me because I was there and I know what can happen or what WILL happen and I don't want those things for her.  I am scared thinking about her friends learning how to drive and how she will be off riding around with immature kids and could possibly be in a car crash..... I feel bad for how I must have made my parents worry and im really afraid of karma biting me in the ass. hah

Anyways...on a lesser deep moment I have to be honest about something else.......

I really want to have sex with Jake.... but I can't because of this damn 6 week after having a baby crap.  It really sucks, I have felt fine for weeks but they tell you not to so im waiting...
I almost just said hell with it and did it anyways, but then i got scared thinking that Bridget (mr doctor) would find out from the exam.  I don't know what I expect she would do if she could tell... its not like she would slap me in the face or ground me or something, but I still find myself too afraid to try. hah  
It just sucks.. Jake and I used to do "it" every single day until I got pregnant and hormones started messing with me.. now that im not pregnant  again Im back to my old sex addicted self 
(I'm married, I can be a nymph if I want! )  
Whats worse is I've been reading these books my mom gave me and they are all pretty steamy which is totally not helping!!!!


the end

Friday, September 5, 2008

why Obama is a bad choice...



Favors new drilling offshore US
Will appoint judges who interpret the law not make it

Served in the US Armed Forces
Amount of time served in the US Senate
173 DAYS
Will institute a socialized national health care plan
Supports abortion throughout the pregnancy
Would pull troops out of Iraqimmediately
Supports gun ownership rights
Supports homosexual marriage
Yes (but gives different answers depending on audience)
Proposed programs will mean a huge tax increase
Voted against making English the official language
Voted to give Social Security benefits to illegals
0% on home sales up to $500,000 per home (couples). McCain does not propose any change in existing home sales income tax.
28% on profit from ALL home sales.  (How does this affect you? If you sell your home and make a profit, you will pay 28% of your gain on taxes. If you are heading toward retirement and would like to down-size your home or move into a retirement community, 28% of the money you make from your home will go to taxes. This proposal will adversely affect the elderly who are counting on the income from their homes as part of their retirement income.)
15% (no change)
39.6% - (How will this affect you? If you have any money invested in stock market, IRA, mutual funds, college funds, life insurance, retirement accounts, or anything that pays or reinvests dividends, you will now be paying nearly 40% of the money earned on taxes if Obama becomes president. The experts predict that Higher tax rates on dividends and capital gains would crash the stock market, yet do absolutely nothing to cut the deficit.)
(no changes)
Single making 30K  tax $4,500
Single making 50K  tax $12,500
Single making 75K  tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K  tax $18,750
Married making 125K  tax $31,250
OBAMA (reversion to pre-Bush tax cuts)
Single making 30K  tax $8,400
Single making 50K  tax $14,000
Single making 75K  tax $23,250
Married making 60K  tax $16,800
Married making 75K  tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750
Under Obama, your taxes could almost double!
- 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)
Restore the inheritance tax
Many families have lost businesses, farms, ranches, and homes that have been in their families for generations because they could not afford the inheritance tax. Those willing their assets to loved ones will only lose them to these taxes.
New government taxes proposed on homes that are more than 2400 square feet.  New gasoline taxes (as if gas weren't high enough already) New taxes on natural resources consumption (heating gas, water, electricity)  New taxes on retirement accounts, and last but not least....New taxes to pay for socialized medicine so we can receive the same level of medical care as other third-world countries!!!

Friday, August 22, 2008


I knew I would love her, but the idea I had of what that love would be like, is nothing like how I feel for her.

There is no way I can explain what it is like to stare at her and think to myself, "I made this."

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

My dad is amazing...

By the way this is a secret still... Jake doesn't know, and will crap his pants when he finds out...

My dad bought four front row and center tickets to see Ryan Adams and the Cardinals today!!

We saw him last year and it was an AMAZING show.. I can't wait to see him again, and this time up close.

i still can't believe that my dad actually bought these tickets.. My mom is going to kill him when she finds out how much it was. 


the only bad part.. is I will have a 4 week old baby at the time, and I don't know how I will feel about leaving him or her for a while..... : /

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I guess Ill follow the trend..

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

I have multiple love languages!

My Detailed Results:
Acts of Service: 8
Quality Time: 8
Words of Affirmation: 8
Physical Touch: 6
Receiving Gifts: 0

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


So funny story.... (to me anyways)

Saturday after everyone had left from my shower I was laying down on the couch eating chips and salsa.  A few minutes later I get this crazy intense pain cramping and pressure.  For some reason I just assumed that it was gas or something and was stuck or something.  It would come every few minutes and last a couple minutes.  During the time it was there I couldn't talk or have anyone talk to me.  I felt like I had to go the bathroom but I didn't...  The only thing that helped was getting on my hands and knees with my mom rubbing my lower back.

Anyways, this lasted for maybe 30-45 minutes and so I just assumed the salsa had upset my stomach really bad or something.

WELL.... I go to my bible study last night and my OB is in my group.  I tell her and Mandy about this horrible gas I experienced and they both laughed at me.  Apparently those were contractions and not gas at all...  
The good news is my OB says that since I am already dilating and having intense contractions right away, I will most likely have a shorter labor (my chances are higher anyways..no promises)  so thats awesome.  Also, its nice to know what to expect now so I can be a little more ready for it all.  However, Im getting really nervous.  That wasn't exactly a piece of cake by any means and it was only like 45 minutes... how on earth am I going to make it like that for hours??? AHH 

Pray for me please!

Monday, August 4, 2008


This weekend was really nice.  It went by WAY too fast.
I have a lot more photos  I wanted to put up from the shower, but they are all on my Dad's computer so... sorry you all will just have to wait!

In other news... The day of my shower is officially the last day I think I will be able to wear my wedding rings for the remainder of the pregnancy.  It appears that I am at the awesome water retention stage.... 

Dear baby, 
Im ready for you to come out now : D.......

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Is it lame that I want to be in a knitting group/class??  Perhaps crochet?  I know how to do it... just not well and I want others to do it with me.

Thanks for hanging out with me Megan and Tara.
can't wait for the snow cones, cotton candy, and face paint.
Jake said we were queer, but I think we are awesome.

Monday, July 28, 2008


I don't know if I can blame it on hormones or if its just normal to feel this way.. but I find myself becoming annoyingly jealous of strange things..

for example:
I find that when I hear stories of Jakes past and they happen to involve a girl he was with in some way or another, I find myself feeling jealous and I HATE that feeling.  Why am I going to feel jealous about something like that?  I mean its not like he knew me back then.. and its not like I don't have my own share of past lovers or friends that are male.  I feel lame and I hate it.  I just hate the way it feels to be jealous.  i hate knowing that Im not the only girl thats been in his life, even though hes not the only male thats been in mine.

 I find myself getting jealous of the time my mom will be spending with my baby while I am working.  I hate how she tells me which things I get to have for the baby and which things are hers...(which seems like all the good stuff!)  I hate that i have to work still.  I don't want my baby to love her more than me.. i know that sounds so stupid, but i dunno.

 I get jealous when my friends hangout with each other without me.  This is super lame as well I know.  It still sucks.

 This is REALLY stupid... I am jealous that my sister is treated differently than I was at her age. Curfew wise, discipline wise, spoiled wise...  i HATE it    I feel like im a little girl when it upsets me. I know its foolish.  however somehow I can't help but feel this way.

Im  jealous of people who can do things I can't do like its nothing.

Im jealous of people with awesome hair and faces that look good with any cut...

Also my lack of a baby's room is depressing me lately.  I just don't have anywhere to put all the babies stuff and its making me sad.  I can't decorate anything and my apartment is cluttered and always feels dirty to me..  I feel like a shitty mom who can't provide for her child.

Sorry about the Emo-ness
it happens

Thursday, July 24, 2008


I went to the doctor yesterday...so i think i will fill everyone in with the latest. ( by the way I keep smelling shaving cream and I can't figure out where its coming from )   ANY WHO

I am 35 weeks and couple days, measuring 35 1/2

The babies heartbeat is in the 130's (which according to my mom means its a boy)

My doctor has estimated that the baby as of now, weighs about 3 1/2- 4 pounds ( which my mother thinks is WAY to small but my doctor didn't seem worried about it)

AND NOW FOR THE BIGGEST NEWS [[Drum roll please]]

I am 1 centimeter dilated and 25% effaced.  I don't exactly know what this means, but it means something! WOOT

P.s.  I have eaten at Maggiano's two days in a row now and its been great! : P

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

One year ago today...

I married a freakin amazing man.

I can't believe how fast time goes by. 

 I feel like it was only last month that i drove to kokomo Indiana at 7pm to meet Jake for the first time.  I still remember how extremely tired I was at 4 in the morning sitting with him at steak N shake but not wanting to leave... how i thought about him the whole drive back home that night.

It feels like just last week I was walking down the aisle to the beatles "here, there and everywhere." watching my dad cry for one of the few times in my life.

It feels like just a few days ago, the mexican guy walked into our hotel room while we were gettin it on on our wedding night...

It feels like just yesterday Jake peed all over me in the drunk attempt to pee on my arm after I was stung by a jellyfish on our honeymoon...

But it wasn't just yesterday or last week or month... it was a whole freakin year ago already.  I can honestly say that I have never regretted marrying him for one second.  Though I was nervous about getting married so young, I know that it was the best decision in my life.
I truly believe that Jake is God's way of showing me how much he loves me. When I think about Jake, I can hear God saying "Look at how well I know your soul."

  There is no one in the entire world that could possibly be a better fit for me and I really mean that. Even the places where we are so different, work out to be so perfect together, so complimentary to each other.

He doesn't seem to see the faults I see in myself, but love them.
He sets me free when Im feeling trapped.  
He builds me up when I feel im falling down.
He holds me close when i feel im straying away.
And through everything that we do, everything that we go through, everything I say or don't say, he never stops loving me.

He is my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, my husband, the father of my child and a little piece of Gods love for me.

I am so blessed.

Friday, July 18, 2008


So last night my mother agreed to come over and help me arrange my apartment so that I might be able to fit a bassinet and Changing table in my bedroom... and to help me clean because its been hard lately.

I must say the apartment looks great but who knows how long it will stay that way.  I have the MESSIEST husband in the whole entire world... seriously, but I love him anyways.  I spent hours going through baby clothes and folding them into piles.  i cannot wait until this baby is born.  Oh and whats even better is while going through the clothes I found another pair of teeny tiny little newborn socks like the blue puppy dog ones I had already.. This pair is white and rolls over at the top to make it a little fluffy and has these cute little monkeys with bananas on them.  

My baby shower is coming up and I cannot wait : )  Everybody better come okay? ok.

Last night I had another strange dream.  I was supposed to marry a women.  Okay, now I know it sounds very lesbian but I assure you it wasn't. hah  I had to or something, it was like pre arranged or something weird and I wasn't attracted to her, we were friends.  all i remember about her was curly reddish brown hair.  But in the dream I was really good friends with Jake and realized the night before the wedding to this woman that I was in love with Jake and so I told him.  Then he looked at me and said it couldn't happen because...... and then my alarm went off.

I swear I have the strangest dreams in the planet.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

slumber party

Last night I dreamt of cleaning robots....

I could use one of those

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


Jake turns 24 this sunday....

Tuesday is our one year anniversary.  Never would have thought I would be spending it preggo..... I wonder what we are going to do?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Body Snatchers...

So i've been feeling.. not myself lately.

I know its the hormones.  it has to be, and I really don't like it.
I hate being moody, and never really thought of myself as a moody person before and liked that about me.  However things have changed.  It seems as though (usually around 6 pm) I am taken over by these nasty hormone body snatchers, which turn me into an angry, jealous, irritable person.  Its not me.  I know when I am getting that way too, and when Im being mean or whatever, yet it seems that there is nothing I can do about it.  Jake hates it.  I don't blame him, but I wish he cut me a little more slack.  Its just when I get like this.. the last thing I want to do is talk about the way im acting.. or really talk in general.. however Jake is always trying to do otherwise.  I feel bad because Jake will usually end our angry hormonal fight with "I want my wife back." or "what happened to the sweet woman I married."  and of course i usually respond with "I killed her." or something along those lines.  Who am I????

I also find that i want to fight people.  Even for no reason at all.  Like the person who refused to go faster than 25 mph last night.. I wanted to ram them off the road, punch through their window, pull them out of there car and punch them in their stupid punchable face.  What??!!

I daydream about being at a bar and some stupid female coming up to my man and makin the moves, so i am forced to challenge her to duel.  Of course in reality if this ever happened.. im sure Jake would never let me go through with it (because that is just Jakes personality) however in the daydream of mine, he just stands back and watches me completely dominate.

Now Im not going to lie.  I've day dreamed about fighting and kicking ass many a time prior to getting knocked up, however it seems more prevalent now.  

I also find that I am more jealous now than ever in my life.  I get jealous when my friends hang out without me, or when Jake goes and hangs out with people which never would bother me before.  I suppose its because I feel like I can't do anything, so no one wants to hang out with me.  I can't go to the bars or clubs or whatever because Im knocked up and under aged so what fun am I right?
So jake is going to Crew fest with Sean hadden and of course I am upset  again?  Why this is selfish of me I know... it must be because I cannot go.  Jake is taking my sister and her friends with my father to warped tour and once again i am upset.  Why? because preggo can't come along.  

who is this jealous angry person?? I don't know you.. get out of my body.  Damn hormones.. go pick on someone else.. 
I just want to ask God why?  Why??  Why did you make pregnant women so hormonal in the end???  To test how much our husbands REALLy love us "good times and bad??"  I mean isn't being hot all the time, cramping, getting stuck in couches, peeing constantly, feeling like a beached whale, swollen feet, head ache, tiredness, and fat ass enough?  Why doesn't the bible explain this more.  Oh yeah Eve's punishment right??  Well you know what Eve... You suck.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Last Night..

I had a dream about the end of the world.    Some of it I was in and a lot of it I was just watching I guess.  Anyways, there is a lot to it that I'm sure I'm forgetting but I do want to tell you all about it because it was very strange... and a little disturbing.  

It started off with me watching the majority of it...
People were no longer allowed to have anything to do with God. Any sort of temple, church or whatever were destroyed. Bibles were burned and you were killed just for saying the word "God".  The man who did all this seemed to want absolute control.  I was under the impression that this man wanted to be God himself.  There was a lot of fighting going on it seemed.  Many buildings and homes were being burned and destroyed.  People of faith were killed publicly in all sorts of different ways.

Then there was the rain.  It rained so much. sometimes it would flood really bad and kill lots of people and animals.  The vegetation around started dying out from all the rain.  There was a food shortage due to the lack of vegetation anywhere and the depletion of livestock.  There were some fish and creatures of the water, but they were dangerous to eat because the water had also brought a lot of diseases.   People then started dying everywhere from either starvation or some sort of nasty disease.  Some people were even resorting to cannibalism.

In the dream, it seemed I was shown all these things so I would understand what was going on before I was thrown into it all.  There are some pieces missing but what I remember the most was wandering around.
The city or town that I was in was almost completely destroyed.  All the trees were dead. Cars were abandoned everywhere and the buildings were all crumbling away.  It seemed I was looking for someone, my family I think but i don't remember.  There were people around but they most stayed inside.  The people I could see were deformed from either the effects of the war, or because they had gotten one of the many diseases.  They were really scary and would stare at me in the shadows as I went by, some following me.  I searched and searched for what seemed like hours and it appeared most people were gone, and those who were alive were crazy or dying.  Then there was a little girl in rags playing around a building.  I walked past her and she ran over to me. "I bet you have never seen a mango before!" she said " I have one you know. Do you want a mango??" She asked me, but before I could say anything she yelled at a smaller girl who was playing in the shadows to go get the mangos.  Then the smaller girl came out holding a bag of grapefruits, only they were extremely rotten and moldy, most of them were blue-green and fuzzy, but there was one on top that still had some yellow.  The first girl reached in the bag and pulled out the yellowish one and held it out to me.  The rags she was wearing covered most of her body but when she held out the fruit I could see that part of her arm and hand was covered in open wounds.  Some of the skin was falling off and there were black wart looking things around her fingers.  They wanted me to stay with them but I was scared suddenly and ran off, so they started throwing rocks at me as i ran.

Then my alarm went off.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


I have found my new favorite addiction. sharp cheddar cheese and cream cheese and chive wheat thins. WoW.

I went to the the doctor yesterday. I was really disappointed for some reason.  I guess I was hoping that the symptoms I have been feeling ( cramping, nausea, BH contractions and the increased pressure on my bladder ) were early signs of labor. However they appear to be normal : '(  I don't want to wait until august for this baby to come. I want it out now dammit! 

I've been a little depressed lately.  I have been wanting to go out and get some new craft supplies but I am no longer allowed to do so.  For those who don't know, where some people have obsessions with purchasing shoes or something.. I have with crafts.  I LOVE buying crafts and never finishing projects.  Usually its because I get frustrated that what Im making isn't coming out perfect.. other times Its just my ADD that attracts me to some other new craft instead.
Anyways.. Now that I am married, I can no longer REALLY spend money on whatever I want without first talking about it.  ( Im sure this wouldn't be an issue if we weren't so broke)  Jake used to let me get the craft I wanted until he finally caught on.  Apparently he feels the tubs filled with yarn, knitting and crochet needles, THOUSANDS of beads of all types, colored pencils, and more should be enough for any sort of craft craving I have.  Also the fact that I have yet to use my new sewing machine I begged for for christmas  hasn't really helped : (  My defense for that however is... How am i supposed to use my sewing machine if you won't let me get any fabric??!! ahh ha!
Maybe i should finally use those books for making baby booties and blankets with crochet... like I had originally planned on doing  4 months ago.  By the time I finish that project my child will probably be graduating from high school.

Oh well.  Maybe I just need someone to come over and do crafts with me that I already have??

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Last night

I dreamt that I had a little baby boy and he had a HUGE baby penis!!  Weird.

Thanks for coming over to my parents Tara.  Sorry we couldn't watch intervention. My dad was being a BAD FRIEND.

Thursday, July 3, 2008


I am in love with this show.  Probably because I wish I could do what these people do sooo bad.  I just wish i could start over and start dancing when I was like 2 or something so I could be amazing like this.

Mia Michaels is the most amazing Choreographer in my opinion.  Her dances are like artwork... and she always tells some sort of story, and they NEVER lack in feeling.  When I see them I can't look away and I wish so badly that I could be the one dancing them.  I have no idea how she comes up with these amazing dances all the time... Shes amazing.

Im going to post both of her videos because I just thought they were awesome and luckily some of the better couples performed them.  nvmd.. i can only find one : (

Monday, June 30, 2008


Jake - Matt Carter
Jake - Me
me - my sister(not as excited as me apparently)
Jake - my dad - Matt Carter

Its been a while since i've written.  im sure you all missed me : P
Anyways its monday morning... and it feels like Monday morning.  I had maybe two hours of sleep last night.  I just couldn't get comfortable at all, and on top of it.. my husband wouldn't stop hogging the bed.  But oh well.  What can I do.
I had this really cool dream that I found this awesome clothing store.  I wish it was real, because the clothes were amazing.. its funny though, because even in my dream I couldn't afford any of it : (

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Well, Jake and I spent last weekend with his family up north.  It was really nice to see them again. It makes me sad sometimes that we hardly get to see them due to the long drive, but you have to do what you have to do.
We spent all saturday at his grandparents lake.  I watched Jake ride around on the knee board and tube with envy and tried my best to get some sort of tan with no avail.  For some reason I didn't even bother with getting in the water until about the last 40 minutes we were there and once I was in on the raft I didn't want to leave!  Which made it a real bummer when we had to get out :(

 On Sunday John David played at  church and when he sang holy surrender.. i think thats what its called... I balled like a baby!  I didn't even make it to the second verse before i felt myself choke up and tears running down my face.  I was just over taken.  I love that but at the same time I don't because I feel goofy, even though I shouldn't care what people think.
The funny thing though was Im listening to this song, crying, arms raised in praise to the lord and THEN... Someone in front of me farted.  And I don't mean like a little fart, i mean like someone really needs to go the bathroom fart! I just had to laugh to myself that something like that would happen and I still think it was God making a haha.  I have no doubt that God has a sense of humor, and a good one at that.  After the song ended Jake and I just had to burst out laughing because Jake also had that moment I had, feeling Gods overwhelming presence before turning green from someone's gas.  What a nice trip it was.  It went by too fast.