I can't sleep tonight because there is too much on my mind.

Yet nothing at all.

I can't focus.

Im afraid I don't know my sister anymore and that I won't be able to find her.

I miss her smile

her laugh

her love

I don't know how Im feeling exactly

I wish I wasn't so anxious about this sort of thing.

anyways.

I should try to sleep

I love you jake and Im really going to miss you this week.

You are truly my better half.... 

I know.. cheesy

Im not sad

I just really like his song writing.

Poor little rose, beaten by the rain
In the wind, in the gale, thunder and the hail 
Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane 
Without the numbness or the pain so intense to feel
'Specially now it added up through the years 

And I, I taught myself how to grow 
Without any love and there was poison in the rain 
I taught myself how to grow 
Til I was crooked on the outside, inside's broke
I taught myself how to grow old

Most of the times I got nothing to say 
When I do it's nothing and nobody's there to listen anyway 
I know I'm probably better off this way 
I just listen to the voices on the TV 'til I'm tired 
My eyes grow heavy and I fade away 

'Cause I, I taught myself how to grow 
Without any love and there was poison in the rain 
I taught myself how to grow 
Though I was crooked on the outside 

I taught myself how to grow 
Without any love and there was poison in the rain 
I taught myself how to grow 
'Til I was crooked on the outside, inside's caved

Crooked on the outside, inside's caved 
Crooked on the outside, inside is caved 
I taught myself how to grow old

sit

im so tired of these restless legs that refuse to move

I wait and wait for a reason but 

just make excuses for sleep

I sleep while moving

painting pictures behind sealed eyelids

I get stuck in time 

while everything is still moving

and I can't decide whats best for you me

Sometimes i wake up smelling blueberry muffins

Does that mean I miss the country?

I want to make something of this picture

but I keep smearing the lines

I want to change the world

I want to save _____

but I can't catch my breath

and my pulse is slower than than...

theirs.

my floor moves like the water

I like to watch the ripples under your feet

but the water is still beneath mine

and i can't figure out why..

They always said I had a wild imagination

Sometimes I can't tell the difference

 I always shuffle my feet

so that I remember to stay on the ground

but I am always up above the city lights

looking for my direction

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and there you are.