The Enemy is real

I always thought when I was younger, that  when you were a christian, things got better for you. Which is why I had so much heart ache and anger for God... so much confusion... so many nights crying out "why me Lord, why do I deserve this sort of life??"

I did not realize how desperately the enemy wanted my soul, that he would not quit so easily. I didn't realize that becoming a christian doesn't put some sort of protective bubble around you life, if anything you become a bigger target to the enemy.  Do you think that people living in anger, hate, drugs, violence etc are at greater risk to the evil one than you?? You would be mistaken, the evil one knows they are stuck in their sin, which will bring evil of its own, but those who are falling away from the evil in their lives... they are the real threats.

The hardest for me as of late is dealing with the consequence for getting closer to God.  The attacks from the enemy are so much stronger and more powerful.  Two weeks after being healed I started getting all my symptoms back.  I was filled with fear and at that moment I doubted.  After much prayer and few conversations with God, I Realized that even as strong as the enemy felt in my life at the time, my God was stronger and my symptoms once again were gone.  I am still healed.

Two days after my vision I was attacked again.  I was sad/angry/fearful for what seemed... no reason at all.  My weird compulsive things that seemed to have been under control  for a while, suddenly came back in full force.  The enemy was not ready to surrender, so once again I returned to prayer and the word. I drowned myself in worship music.  There was a battle ragging inside of me, yet I knew my God would not forsake me.

I guess what I want to tell everyone that being a christian is not a stroll in the park!  God speaks to us constantly.  Sometimes he tells us things like "you should give that person a hug" or "you need to apologize"... little things like that, and sometimes you listen to that voice or sometimes you ignore it.  But know this:

The more you listen to God, the more you trust in him and his word, the more he entrusts to you. The more your relationship with him grows and the more amazing it is! Yet, with it comes the battle, so be ready my friends to fight.  but rest assured that the Lord will not abandon you, he will lift you on the wings of eagles and carry you above the storm. 

Have faith, all is not lost!