Wish

I wish

I could explain how i've been feeling lately.

unmotivated ?

sometimes I think Im jealous of where your life is taking you even though i'm a part of it.

I guess its because 

while I follow the same pattern day after day,

your life is always changing.

something new is always waiting for you.

I can't help that I don't want you to leave me behind sometimes.

right?

I wish you could see that.

Sometimes I think it makes me kind of crazy.

I've been forgetting things.

I can't help but wonder if Im slowly being pushed out

or at least to the back of the line.

when we meet its explosive

but when we are apart i feel like an addict

out of cash.

My heart is guilty for the times I wish things were different

that we could sail away just the two of us

but we can't and I understand that.

and because of her, Im okay with that too.

I do get angry sometimes though

angry that you missed out

that you weren't there to see her stand with no hands

or laugh so hard time stopped for a moment

I know you care

but sometimes it feels like only after everything else.

I know you have your passions that you want to pursue

how could I hold you back?

but what happens when you are mine?

sometimes it feels like this all snuck up on me

and I guess Im still adjusting.

I guess people make sacrifices for the ones they love,

but when will we sacrifice FOR love?

anyways, I just want you to know that im sorry

and Im trying

and... I just miss you is all.