house church

I am really excited because tonight is the "Chris Johnson" church group.

I go to two different house churches alternating mondays. I love my other group because I enjoy talking about God with other people my age and building the relationships, but I LOVE Chris Johnsons group because of the undeniable presence of God that seems to radiate the room each gathering.

This is the group where I received my healing actually.  Every single person there is totally on fire for God and its amazing.  Everything was so different than anything I have ever experienced in a house church.  

The first time I went I have to be honest... I was extremely uncomfortable. Late as usual, I walk into a room where a man is playing some chords on guitar and  everyone seems to be ab-libbing their own worship lyrics.whooooaaa...

  I of course sit down and start squirming around in my seat, lips sealed refusing to participate in such strange worship and look around the room at all of these "charismatic" people.  So what did I see all around the room?? 

Joy. pure, undeniable joy, as if they could actually see the face of God behind their tightly closed eyelids. It was actually as if they were all stoned actually, or drunk. A few people would just start cracking up for no apparent reason even.  And as uncomfortable as I felt, I couldn't help but be completely jealous of every single one of them.

The next time I went, I decided that I was not only going to get there on time(ha!) but I was going to try my hardest to go along with this weird form of worship. Luckily for me the group was smaller, which worked well for my introverted personality. Once we started I said (to myself) "okay God, i want what they have" and I closed my eyes and followed along with the rest. I tried my best to focus completely on God and instead of how ridiculous I felt and I couldn't believe the results.  We started the chorus of a regular song (okay this is more like it) and then just went off and it was strangely... not uncomfortable all all.  I couldn't believe I was doing it and I could feel it coming straight from heart, and It was as if I could feel God smiling upon me with approval.  Then I continued to surprise myself as I added in different hand clap beats.. (WHAT??) it was awesome. everyone added in their little bit and it all came together so beautifully as if we had planned it to be that way.

I realized that the reason it was so beautiful and amazing to me was because I was TRULY worshiping God from the depth of my heart.  There was nothing special about what I or anyone in that room was doing or saying, only that we were all giving ourselves completely to God.

The funny thing about it was that it kinda was like being high almost... but better.  I've done many drugs in my life and NONE of the highs I've ever gotten (or enjoyed) have ever been quite like what I experienced that day.  There was so much happiness pulsing through my veins that I think someone could have punched me square in the face and I would have just laughed and given them a hug.

Now if only I could master KEEPING that feeling going.... Yes then it would be so much easier to deal with all this crap.

well... its a work in progress

Im ready another God high.  HIT ME WITH THE JOY BUS LORD!